So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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