You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
