on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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