omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
