Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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