i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
