What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
