So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
