I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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