Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
