Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
