I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
