Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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