yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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