I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
