how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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