You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have so many feelings about this burrito
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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