Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
