Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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