This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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