Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
