Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
