When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
