i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
