You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
