What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
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She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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