HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
