I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize