Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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