but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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