so explain again why im purple
no
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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