she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You work out of a Hotel?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
