So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
