Got a toothbrush?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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