There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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