I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Randomize
