so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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