im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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