you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
