Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
