you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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