question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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