He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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