Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
