FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
