In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
