It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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