I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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