plz talk dirty to me
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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