girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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