Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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