Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
