I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
