I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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