wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
