this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
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Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
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Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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