I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.