some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.