I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.