I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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