I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
3pm strippers are depressing
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
