He is an equal opportunity slut.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
