As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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