Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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