i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
